this race was about my redemption. I had something to prove – to me, myself and I.
You see I was recently divorced.
I started training before it was actually finalized as a way to push through my depression and anxiety. And if I’m being completely honest, I needed to prove that I still had IT. You know – that even without a man, I was desirable.
And I had allowed myself to wallow in self pity for too long while separated. It was time to get up, dust myself off and keep it moving.
I took pictures with friends before we started the race and my adrenaline was pumping. There were two lanes – one for walking, the other for running. I looked condescendingly at the people in the walking lane and thought to myself “why would I enter a 5k to WALK?”
The time came to take your positions and I joined the runners, full of anticipation. Music was blaring in my ear.
I took off in full stride with a smile on my face. I was doing it! I had overcome my hesitation to enter the race, put in the work to get physically and mentally fit and now it was happening. The first mile felt like a breeze.
The other day I found myself on the verge of a panic attack. No one was wearing a mask and they were piled on the beach like sardines. At least that’s how I saw it. I looked at my husband and felt torn. I wanted to run to the car and hit the turbo button home. But, he looked so contented and fully in his element. Still, I headed back up the stairs while saying “this isn’t going to work”. I had a choice. Go into full panic mode and ruin this little getaway that was MY idea. Or pull myself together so I could think with a clear head of suitable options.
Are you giving your power away? Have you reached a brick wall in your thought process, decision making or outlook on life? Do you feel like you’re in a whirlwind of consequences or effects beyond your control? I remember that feeling. I remember feeling bitter and resentful towards people who in my opinion made decisions …
I think I can speak for the majority by saying as 2020 approached we anticipated the insight, clarity, vision, planning and purpose that the new year would bring. Even my own marketing strategy included a play on 2020 being a leap year. And Oprah embarked on a “2020 Vision Tour”. What more validation did we …