Let’s face it. We all know her. You know, the one you treat like a best friend turned enemy, acting as though you never knew her. You almost hate her for being so dumb, embarrassed even because she quickly relinquished her identity just for the sake of being with a man. So, you only acknowledge her presence behind closed doors, with the lights off, so you don’t have to face the fact that you and her are ONE.
Even if you’re no longer HER, sometimes you wear the mask of a smile to cover up all the wounds she inflicted on you. Well, it’s time to stop denying her existence, end the silent treatment and acknowledge the growth that you’ve experienced because of that DUMB GIRL.
Here, I’ll get you started. I’ve learned a lot from the Dumb Girl I Used To Be:
1. The importance of friendship.
I used to toss my friends aside at the sight of a man’s attention. Not anymore. I understand that friends are imperative to my sanity and an asset to my life. Maybe if I’d held on to my genuine friendships, I would’ve spared myself years of heartache.
2. Not to assume anything, especially love.
I lived in a mirage of love for way too long. Going forward, words mean nothing to me without action. Point.Blank.Period.
3. Forgiveness doesn’t mean stay.
As a Christian, I must forgive from my heart. But, that doesn’t mean that I will stay around and hand the second bullet to my assassin. I love myself enough to forgive…and move on.
4. I must assess MY truth to avoid confusion.
I’m taking the time to get to know myself. What are my core values? Strengths? Weaknesses? Needs? Wants? And I will clearly state my requirements in any future relationship.
5. I am the PRIZE.
I used to look for Prince Charming to rescue me from myself and take me to his beautiful fairy tale castle to live happily ever after. It’s almost comical now to think of such an immature type of love. Now, I know that I am the PRIZE. No one else validates my essence. I am worthy, all on my own, to love and be loved.
See, that wasn’t so hard. In fact, it was liberating. There’s no shame in ackowledging that we’ve played the role of a dumb girl, vulnerable in all the wrong ways, naive even.
Say it with me:
She was me and I was her. A Dumb Girl.
But, there’s no need for bitterness and resentment. You’ve learned your lesson.
The time that you once thought was wasted, was actually filled with valuable lessons.
Don’t you think we should each write a thank you letter to the dumb girl we USED to be?
LaQuita “Sunshine” Davis