As I sat in the front row of the classroom the instructor looked directly at me and asked “Are you ready to release the need to be sick?”
To my surprise I was not.
I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis in September 2010. Within one month, I began a regimen of immunosuppressant drugs and pain management. This would be my daily routine for the rest of my life. Doctors orders.
When my marriage ended, I blamed Multiple Sclerosis (MS). When friendships ended, it was all because of this diagnosis. When I was put on probation at work for tardiness, I cited health discrimination as the reason.
I had become a professional victim of this uncontrollable illness that was cursed upon me.
By 2014, I started blogging and ironically I chose positive thinking as my niche. It’s amazing the way the unconscious mind works. The inner dialog I was battling within me was in constant conflict.
On one side, there was the victim who wanted everyone else to know and feel my sorrow. This was the part of me that replayed every failed attempt in my personal and professional life for the sole person of identifying how the undiagnosed symptoms had stifled me. She was surrounded by a dark cloud, dressed in all black with running mascara, unkempt hair and a look of turmoil.
On the other side was this strangely familiar person who looked at me with a side eye, telling me to snap out of my victimization. She stood with poise and clarity, dressed in a pure white gown, arms open wide ready to embrace love, compassion, understanding and victory.
For three years I wrote blog posts that reflected both parts of me; they were like letters to myself.
In 2018, I developed a strong urge to help others who shared a similar inner conflict. By that time, I had gained clarity living in Arizona on my own and embracing my independence. I was still following my daily regimen of medications and I had incorporated exercise and healthy eating habits.
A part of me was tired of taking daily medications and injecting myself three times weekly. But, this was my life…so I thought.
The NLP Inception
The study of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) appealed to me for its focus on the power of thoughts and the use of intentional language.
For eight years I had experienced the direct correlation between positive thoughts and physical wellbeing. I kept a daily gratitude journal and as long as my thoughts remained upbuilding and full of gratitude, I felt better. The moment I allowed a negative, critical mindset to take over, I felt physically ill.
The power to feel better was literally in my head.
Acknowledging the power of thought and language isn’t enough to manifest self healing though.
I realized this when I was asked the question by my NLP trainer. “Are you ready to release the need to be sick?” We had just completed clinical hours, practicing the same strategies we would use with our clients. I had not been able to fully participate in one of the strategies. I had a mental block and it was preventing me from letting go of codependency.
I was dependent on my diagnosis.
Everything in my life until that point had revolved around my disease. I was a victor because of my illness. I had redefined myself because of my illness. I had even made the first conversation with my new husband about disclosing my illness.
Who am I without Multiple Sclerosis?
Manifesting self healing requires being fully associated with the new version of yourself.
I wasn’t quite ready to let the old version go.
In my research of what causes Multiple Sclerosis, I have found many unofficial explanations. I have learned that it literal means Multiple Scars. A number of MRI results confirmed that I had a number of scars or lesions on my brain. What caused them? I don’t really know for sure. But I do know that it was time for me to heal those scars.
It was time for me to let go of the idea that this Dis-Ease would define me.
So, I manifested the healed version of myself.
Manifesting Self Healing
Now that I had acknowledged my limiting beliefs, all the things holding me back, I worked to adopt healing strategies.
How? I began to behave, speak, think, and be as a healthy vibrant person.
When I woke up in the morning, I stretched my body and welcomed rejuvenated cells. Then I made a nutrient-rich smoothie. I removed all toxins from my home (food, personal care items, appliances, etc.). I met with a holistic doctor and learned about natural remedies, supplements and brain healthy foods.
Then I met with the medical doctors and advised them of my plan to stop all chemical based treatments. By this time I had only doctors who embraced some form of homeopathic care. Of course, they monitored me to wean me off the medications. And in six months, I was free of pharmaceutical drugs.
I continue daily affirmations, journaling, healthy eating, exercise, and a toxic free environment. I feel better than I’ve felt in over ten years. I took back my power to choose how to manage my own health.
I continue manifesting self healing one thought at a time.
As a Certified NLP Coach and Time Line Therapy® Practitioner Coach Q now transforms her clients using a simple step-by-step process – unraveling the mental and emotional layers just as she did.
Combining the Law of Attraction with NLP techniques, she empowers her clients to gain control and manifest living tomorrow’s vision TODAY.