Do you remember how you were taught the concept of cause and effect? In essence, the cause is why something happened; the effect is what happened. For example, consider the sentence, “Sara studied diligently and passed her exam with flying colors.” The cause is “Sara studied diligently”. The effect? She “passed her exam.” Admittedly, life situations it’s not always so simple. But how we perceive life events-the cause or the effect – determines not only our specific situations but really it shapes how we view our life.
Are you the Cause (result) or the Effect (reason)?
Effects = Reasons
Are you guided by reasons something has or has not happened? Are you troubled by what happened to you in the past? Do you feel your life would’ve been different if only…”fill in the blank”? Have your family’s dysfunctions shaped your outlook on life? Maybe you would be less suspicious if there weren’t so many untrustworthy people in your life. Did an unexpected life event halt your dreams and aspirations? Was everything going well until your breakup or divorce? Were you diagnosed with a chronic illness that ruined your chances of success? Anyone in your shoes would understand your feelings of sadness or even bitterness, right?
Causes = Results
If you are on the side of causes, you are more focused on results. Rather than being focused on what happened to you, your actions have driven you towards results. Your experience with physical and emotional abuse led you to be more self aware and sympathetic. Yes, your relationship ended, but it taught you so much about yourself that now you are ready to receive pure love. Your chronic illness taught you compassion and introduced you to a new career as a life coach.
Why It Matters
We live in a society that caters to the “not my fault” mentality. While this may be most popular, it also leads to most disappointment. Think about it: if you feel that you are nothing more than the consequences of poor choices, failed relationships and uncontrolled circumstances, where is your power?
If you become discouraged in the day of distress, your strength will be meager. – Proverbs 24:10
Wouldn’t it seem more thrilling and exciting to take ownership of how you allow circumstances to affect you? You have all the tools you need to create the dynamic life you deserve.
So, how can you take control and be the cause of your life?
Here’s a life assignment: For every seemingly negative experience you have, write an empowerment statement. Let’s use the example from earlier.
Experience: Breakup or Divorce
Negative Perception (Effect): My life fell apart after my breakup or divorce.
Positive Perception (Cause): I will use the experiences that I gained from my previous relationship to push me towards self-awareness and receiving pure love.
I know first hand that it is possible for you to change your mindset from effect to cause, victim to victor. I was the woman untrusting, bitter and depressed. Growing up in a dysfunctional family (don’t we all have stories), I became very critical of people’s motives. After eleven years in an unhealthy marriage, I became a bitter divorcee but not before being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and Fibromyalgia. Talk about trials and tribulations!
I’ve gone through years of transformation and I can affirmatively tell you that it is a powerful feeling to take control of your life. Where there was once pessimism there is optimism. In the place of bitterness, there is now gratitude. I’ve allowed use my chronic illness to make me more compassionate and understanding.
You can do it too! Be the Cause.